Have a burning question for the Minx to answer? Please E-mail them to her. Due to the amount of mail the Minx receives, a personal reply will not be possible, but all questions will be considered for publication.

Dear Minx, I am going to be in Baltimore for a convention this summer. I have heard that it is possible to catch crabs there. Please tell me how I may avoid this unpleasant situation! -UnCrabby in MN Dear Un-, Never fear!! I believe that the Atlantic Blue Crab was the critter in question, not the abhorrent parasite. You can catch these delectable creatures with a raw chicken neck on a string and some patience, or mosey down to one of the many local crabhouses and order up a dozen. I promise that it will be an enjoyable part of your visit. Dear Minx, I told my boyfriend that I needed to be in love with him before I could have sex with him. Three days later, I changed my mind and told him that I was ready for sex. He ran for the hills. What did I do wrong?? -Sybil Dear Sybil, The "L-word" is very scary to most men, especially after three days. As enticing as the idea of sex might be to some men, the fear that the other concept might be lurking is enough to turn them into quivering masses of SPAM. And since SPAM is neither tasty nor nourishing, you are better off without him. Dear Minx, Does a telephone conversation constitute a date? I say it does. MustangSally Dear Mustang, Um, no. You must not get out much. That's called a phone call. A "date" is usually an "in person" occasion. You really should try one sometime - saves on long-distance bills and manicures ruined by continually dialing phone sex lines. Dear Minx, My new boyfriend is from Iceland. He wants me to wear one of those furry sweaters when we make love. Frankly, I have sensitive skin and these sweaters make me itch like crazy. Help...how do I keep his ardor without feeling like I need to go and get flea powder? -Lil Itch Dear Lil, Apparently, your wearing a sweater reminds your boyfriend of tender moments spent with a herd of sheep. He probably needs to be slowly weaned off of wooly bodys and back to relatively hairless human ones. Try a compromise by not wearing the sweater, but not shaving for a few weeks either. Gradually he should get used to it. I would draw the line at making soft bleating noises if he so suggests.

Dear Minx, My husband is a little strange. After each time we make love, he gets out a little notebook and notes all of the sexual positions we tried and how many orgasms I had. Then he rates the session with from one to five stars. The trouble is...all our sessions seem like five stars to me! How do I find out what's wrong? -Mrs. Ebert Dear Mrs. Ebert, Your husband is obviously a perfectionist. Nothing wrong with that! After all, "try, try again" is probably his motto - what do you have to complain about? Dear Minx, I met this woman online with whom I seem to have a good rapport. I was dating someone else at the time, but never told this online woman. I stood her up for a date because of my other relationship. Now I make contact with her again, only to find that she is involved with "Mr. Wonderful". Should I bludgeon myself with my keyboard or just go on with my life? -OLAddict Dear OLAddict, Ooh..poor dear! Don't however injure yourself with your keyboard; you will hurt it more than it hurts you. Your monitor or CPU is far heavier and will cause far more damage with a single blow. Dear Minx, I have recently moved back to my hometown after spending several years away at school. During this time, I had a wonderful long-distance relationship with a man from my home state. Now that I am close to him distance-wise, he is acting funny. What should I do? -StressedGrad Dear Stressed, Clarify "funny" for me please. Do you mean....funny ha-ha? Or funny-strange? Or....funny wears-my-pink-negligee? I find that few men can wear pink successfully. Perhaps you should accomodate him by purchasing something in red or midnight blue. Dear Minx, Is it normal to want to have a breast enlargement even if I am already a D cup? -Mama Reece Dear Mama It all depends if you are male or female, and if you have a lucrative porn career lined up. Otherwise, I would suggest in the addtional investment of a sturdy wheelbarrow to help support your enlarged assets. Dear Minx, My boyfriend has only a 2 inch penis. I love him but dream of a larger schlong. Any suggestions? -Short End of the Stick Dear Short End, Quite the unfortunate circumstance. You must really love him. Aside from an implant, I have no advice but prayer. It won't work, but it might make you feel better.

Dear Minx, Not long ago, I was back in DE for some divorce procedures and reacquainted myself with one of my former neighbors. I expressed an interest in him, and he and I had sex. I am now back living with my wealthy parents in Texas, but I miss my DE friend. Do you think sending him a plane ticket to come visit me would be out of order? After all, he did sleep with me, so that means he loves me, right? If he does not love me, my Daddy would be very upset with him. -Daddy's Lil Girl Dear Lil Girl Ummm...I think it means he was horny, dear. Why don't you try to find someone local? To the guy in DE: Your options seem to be: 1. Moving; 2. Changing your name; 3. Considering some major reconstructive facial surgery, just in case. Dear Minx, When I was a young girl, the proper thing for a man to do when greeting a woman was to kiss her hand. Now most men will simply shake hands. What is this society coming to? -Gramma Dear Gramma, I agree!! Shaking hands is so impersonal. I much prefer hand kissing. Perhaps a little smooch on the back of the hand...then small kisses tracing down to a fingertip, then taking my finger into his mouth and sucking gently...::::leaving computer momentarily::: Oh right..um...maybe hand shaking isn't such a bad idea after all? Dear Minx, Why do men make up names for their penises? -Not Envious Dear Not, Men are obviously very lonely creatures. Oftentimes, one's penis is one's best friend. And a best friend tires of being called "hey you" all the time. Dear Minx, I can't seem to get excited for sex until I watch an episode or two of Green Acres on Nick at Night. What's wrong with me? -Arnold Lover Dear Lover, By your name, I can see you are a troubled soul. You apparently have inclinations towards bestiality that you satisfy by watching bad sitcoms. Or perhaps you are simply titillated by the town name "Hooterville." Dear Minx, What is the going rate to charge a boyfriend who wants to film me having sex with another woman? -Kathy in MD Dear Kathy, The price cannot be too high. Keep in mind, he will probably bootleg this video all over town and make a small fortune. Make sure he shares the profits with you by charging him an arm and a leg beforehand. Better yet, an arm and a leg and a penis.

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