Zimagal Monthly Magazine - Volume One, Issue Twelve

Random Rant:
The word is NOT "acrost" but "across." It's "ask," not "aks." Why do educated people make such glaring mispronunciations?

Still Waters Run Shallow
Ever notice how shallow a workplace can be? And how the most stimulating conversation you will have with 90% of your officemates consists of, "How was your weekend?" Why do people ask if they don't care? Do they really need to know what you had for lunch? It would seem that small talk is the true language of the workplace. True, I can't imagine everyone wanting to delve deeply into everyone else's private life; but then why bother being falsely interested in petty stuff? Frankly, I don't give a damn about what total strangers did over the weekend, and I really don't care about what so-and-so had for lunch either.

Recently, I overheard this stimulating conversation:

"What did you have for lunch?"
"Turkey sandwich."
"Oh? What was on it?"
"Turkey, lettuce, tomato, hots, and mayo, on a sub roll."
"Was it good?"
"It was a little soggy, but it tasted ok."

The conversation ceased, and the two speakers went back to work. I sat with my mouth open in wonderment. Now, was that exchange even necessary to the continuation of life as we know it? Would the world have come to an end if person A did not find out that person B had hots on his turkey sandwich?

I would rather have a cordial, but not chatty, workplace. Say "hello" and smile, or just smile. "Hi, how are you?" is a popular greeting which has completely taken the meaning out of the question. Heaven forbid anyone actually tell you how he or she is doing! Sometimes, when someone asks me, I tell them a long, miserable story. And that person doesn't ask again. :)

I don't know why I complain. The poor miserable people who long for conversation but do not have the skills to make one will keep up the same insipid chatter. And they will continue to think that I am a uppity bitch because I refuse to waste my breath on them. And that is just the way it goes.

Random Rant
The truth hurts, doesn't it? If you don't want to be labeled as a "pathological liar," "whore," or "man-stealing bitch," perhaps you should re-examine your lifestyle, dontcha think?

Random Rant
Interesting to see people "casting" movies online, and choosing famous actors and actresses to play chat room regulars. Stay tuned for my version of the Wizard of Oz...coming to a web browser near you!

Season's Grievances
Every year, our group at work sponsors a needy family for Christmas. The family's social worker usually provides us with a list of toys, gifts, and other ideas, and the group goes wild and supplies the goodies to make the holiday special for these people. This year, one woman requested a gift certificate to a grocery store, and nothing else, not even a toy for her children. For some reason, this raised a bone of contention at our birthday club/holiday planning meeting. Perhaps she was going to sell the gift certificate and use the money to purchase drugs, someone suggested. Other people deemed it unusual not to want a single solitary toy for a child. However, most agreed that the important thing was that we give of ourselves, no matter how the recipient would use the gift.

There was other hubbub as well. Andree was in charge of the Christmas party game - something known as a "Chinese Auction," in which persons choose from small gifts in a pile of wrapped packages or a previously chosen, unwrapped gift already chosen by another participant. One member of the team thought that "stealing gifts from one another" was not in the true spirit of the holidays. Another thought that the $5 price suggested for the gift was too high. Another figured we should all martyr ourselves and after playing the game, rewrap the gifts and give them to one of the needy families we are sponsoring this year.

Unfortunately, everyone has missed the boat. In this crass, commercialized world, we tend to think of Christmas as a time to give things to one another - gifts, cards, food, etc. and that Christmas means cheer and goodwill shared around a tree glittering with ornaments and heaped underneath with prettily wrapped packages. I say wrong. Maybe Christmas is about stealing gifts, or grousing about how much something costs...or maybe it's not. Why can't Christmas mean just about anything in this secular world? I know of double-dipping Hanukkah-happy Jews and one-hand-clapping Buddhists who celebrate Christmas. Why? Because it has simply become a day of commerce and trade, wrapping and unwrapping, eating and ho-ho-ho-ing. And the true meaning is lost.

What is this true meaning? It's not about giving or receiving, material goods or otherwise. It's simply a birthday. A celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ, who 33 years later would give his life for the salvation of the souls of believers. Although not as important a holiday for Christians as Easter, Christmas is a prelude to that most holy of days. For if Christ had not been born a man, he would not have suffered and died for our sins (I was raised Catholic, can ya tell?)

So think about this when you are chug-a-lugging your eggnog or fighting with your sister over the last piece of turkey breast - if it was not for the religious aspect, this most beloved of all holidays would not exist at all. It's absolutely ridiculous for one to let the pressures and hassles which come every year at this time get to him or her. For Christmas should be celebrated quietly in the heart, not the mall.

What's Good For the Goose
I have been bitter over a situation for the last few months, only now beginning to let go of the anger. During the time I have been expressing my pain, I have been told, by people who do not and probably cannot understand, to let go of it. Of course I shall, but all in due time.

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a book called On Death and Dying. The book introduced the author's seminal "stages of dying" or "stages of grief" model which is still widely quoted. According to this model, there are five stages that a dying or grieving person goes through. The stages go in progression through denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages do not necessarily follow in that particular order, but sometimes flip back and forth, i.e. from anger to depression back to anger again. This model has been widely adopted by other authors and applied to many other situations where someone suffers a loss or change in social identity.

I was listening to Alanis Morrissette's last CD, Jagged Little Pill, at work the other day. Her song "You Oughta Know," is full of anger over a situation. But her venom is aimed towards the man in this case, not the woman, whereas mine is opposite. Now, pray tell, why is this lunatic rant of hers completely acceptable, so much so as to become an anthem of sorts and make this young woman millions of dollars, but my bitching and moaning about my situation is completely uncalled for? Is it because I am not taking my anger out on the male party involved, but instead aiming it towards the female? Must everything in life follow a stereotype such as "men are scum?" I am finding that women can be quite scummy as well.

Those of us who chose to live a "real life" do not live in a fairy tale or soap opera world where things are suddenly all better with a wave of a wand or a script. Unfortunate, perhaps. Sometimes the best thing to do in a situation is to let a person's pain take its course.

As time passes, I see that everything did turn out for the best. To quote Alanis: "I want you to know that I am happy for you/ I wish nothing but the best for you both." But keep in mind: I forgive, but I do not forget.

Stay Tuned For the Next Exciting Bitchfest!

Random Rant
Revenge is a dish best served cold. However, the best revenge is also living well. And I have never been a slouch in that department.

Random Rant
Why does every charitable organization known to man come to me for donations, especially just before the holidays? I don't have any $ to spend for gifts, much less give it away. I am sure the idea is for me to give a donation in a person's name in lieu of a gift. Well no way.

Random Rant
Ooohh...I can think of so many people who are going to receive lumps of coal in their stockings this year. Being bad might be fun while one is doing it, but it certainly does not pay in the long run.

Randon Rant
Man, it's hard to be short on cash at the holiday season, especially for a spendthrift gift-giver like myself.

Randon Rant
It's nice to be happy - I hardly have anything to bitch about these days! :) But I keep plugging on...gotta keep my audience occupied, yannow?!