Dear Readers,

Forgive me for not visiting you last month. Things were a little out of whack in the temple of Pasionara, and I had to suspend daily life to focus some attention on regaining my health. But I am back with you now, and ready to press on with our exploration of world, spirit, and green M & Ms.

I want to begin by saying that I would like to hear more from readers about topics they would like to discuss in this venue. I am a woman who thrives on the conversation, the exchange, the meeting of like mind (and even un-like minds) in a free forum of intellectual spiciness. Thus far the only mail I have received in response to this column consisted of some challenges to my assertion (in Installment One) that had I found myself in Monica Lewinsky's knees-on-the-floor position, I would have deigned to receive the Presidential cigar between my lips the same way she did. Now dear readers, we can do better than that. I do like the tawdry conversation as much as anyone (admit it, in your heart of hearts you do) but there are other things to chat about here. Or maybe not. I won't know unless you tell me.

So now, let's dish.

And I have a question for you, my dears. What do you think of marriage as an institution, as the ultimate American relationship dream? I turn this question over in my heart and mind as I contemplate engagement to a fine, wonderful man with whom I have had a relationship for some time. I have been married before (as I have intimated to you in the past) and that marriage was like a leaky hot-air balloon - floaty for a while but destined to crash-land. Now as I look around me at friends and colleagues who are in various stages of relationship, I notice that the happier ones tend to be those who are in relationships but who aren't married. The married ones (with the exception of one couple, happily ensconced in their White Marsh abode, who fit together like paint and Picasso) have plunged headlong into varying states of boredom/complacency/acceptance of their mates. Those who remain together do so because they have some other ultimate shared glue (finances, children, moral guilt) that is stronger than the acknowledgement of boredom with the love they once shared. Is that what marriage ends up becoming? I turn this question over and over like a Zen koan, and yet I ultimately have no idea about the answer, as my experience of marriage was short. I only know that I dither between embracing the idea of spending my life with my wonderful man, and running headlong from the thought of a life of ennui.

So if you will, readers, help me out. Please answer the following questions for me. Just cut and paste them along with your answers, into an e-mail addressed to pasionara@aol.com.

1. Are you married or single?
   
2. Have you willingly chosen your present matrimonial state?
   
3. Do you have children?
   
4. If you are married, would you say that you are happily so? Why or why not?
   
5. If you are single, would you say that you are happily so? Why or why not?
   
6. If you are married, how do you deal with relationship boredom/ennui when it sets in, if in fact it does?
   
7. If you are married, would you marry your spouse again if you had the chance to retrace your steps? Why or why not?

Write as little or as much as you like. I'll publish the results (anonymously, of course - Pasionara does have a modicum of decorum and does not wish to disrupt any household state) in next month's column.

Have a titillating month!