Minx, the Magazine - Issue Five, Volume Two

Random Rant:
"Customer Service" representatives should be forced to have good bedside manner. If I wanted to deal with a grouch, I would handle the situation myself!

Depth Perception
Beauty is only skin deep, some say. So true! The most gloriously attractive person can be a cesspool within - a cruel dark miasma, or a vapid emptiness with no desire to be filled. Those might be two extremes. The majority of the "beautiful people" are merely shallow, perhaps guided by superficiality rather than substance. Oftentimes the good-looks, if not natural, are a means of covering-up what is lacking; as if we cannot see through the designer labels!

Let me cite the example of one man whom I have been acquainted with in the past. He is a good-looking fellow, well-groomed. Regarding this man's perpetual state of designer-label brandishing, a friend remarked, "he looks like he mugs a mannequin." I had to laugh - it was too true! Everything about this man, from his underwear to his ostentatious overpriced watch, was of well-known designer brands. Not that this is a crime, mind you. I am sure there are lots of rocket scientists who favor Tommy Hilfiger underwear and Georgio Armani socks. Let me continue: after knowing this man for some time, the only personality traits I could discern were those of the "look at me" persuasion. There didn't seem to be much beyond that. Nothing he was willing to share with me at least. Perhaps he was intimidated by someone who was able to make conversation on most any subject, and not just the merits of Ebel watches over Omega or Cartier. Perhaps he really had nothing to talk about...nothing went through his mind except wondering where his next meal/lay/paycheck/beer was coming from.

Aside from the physically-manifested superficiality, there is also the type which takes the form of attitude. Another acquaintance of mine would love to make everyone in the world his friend; he's certainly cordial and gregarious enough to accomplish this. But once done, what does he have to offer the newly acquired buddy? Not much, from what I can see. From the superficial conversations I have had with him (and there have been many) I can't see pursuing this relationship. There is only so much that I can take in the way of overly-friendly people, unless he or she has a fascinating mind underneath it all. I only hope this guy will realize how many people he turns off in his quest to befriend the universe.

I can be superficial at times too, but I am really not that way all the time. I just don't like to waste my energy being everything to everyone, just to those whom I deem deserve it. Perhaps the examples I used are the same way, but judging how much time I spent with both, I somehow doubt it. They are that way because they do not know how to be anything else. I challenge them to prove me wrong.

If you have no personality, don't try to hide that fact by wearing flashy clothes or being gregarious. It might work with people whom you meet only once, but you won't impress anyone else. Especially if you impress yourself :)

Random Rant
Too many people waste their lives thinking about "would have beens" and "should have beens" rather than "will bes" and "can bes." The past is past - get on with your life!

Random Rant
At some temp agencies, one can find work as an "inserter." Perhaps the star of rant number three would like to get a job there? :::snicker::

Hitting the Nail on the Head
Why is it that some women feel the need to have entire Impressionist paintings on their fingernails? I have seen variations of Monet's Waterlilies, outlined in gold glitter, and blue swirls reminiscent of Van Gogh's Starry Night, dancing on fingertips of checkout girls and office workers alike. If you ask me, if a fingernail is large enough to contain a recognizable image, the nail is too long.

Many of you may disagree with me. Those of you who are members of the impossibly long-taloned set may feel that you are making a fashion statement. Lemme tell ya honey - you ain't. I can't think of anything tackier, well, outside of Dundalk or Hampden anyway.

And I must ask, how DO you function with nails that long? I mean... it's one thing if you are able to grow your own nails to incredibly stupid lengths - but to pay someone to glue fake nails to your own pathetic fingertips - why?? Ok, you probably have no good reason for it. So tell me this - how can you do everyday things incapacitated in such a manner? Can you comfortably type, hold a pen, pick your nose? Let's not forget such crucial things as bathroom hygiene. Do you ever scratch yourself accidentally in a delicate place and curse the day you had those acrylics put on?

Extremely wealthy women who could afford servants to do everything for them could also afford to sport such tacky talons. Perhaps in days of yore this was so...but not now. In this day and age, where many women have to work for a living, garish fingernails are not only non-functionable, they are un-professional. Have you ever seen a high-powered female attorney brandishing a Mondrian-inspired claw while questioning a suspect? A professional woman (excluding those members of the world's oldest profession) would simply not wield her God-given weapons in such an unattractive manner.

Occasionally given to wearing oddly-colored nail polish, I can understand perhaps the interest in having a color other than red on one's fingertips. But why go the scenic route? In this day of 90-second fast dry polishes, who has the time to sit for an hour while a woman in a ventilator mask paints miniature Mona Lisas on her fingertips?

Perhaps this is a symbol of social change in our world. The 90s lady of leisure is no longer a member of the "upper crust;" she is now just crumbs.

Amoral Amok
Is it acceptable in our society to cheat on our spouses or significant others? Bill Clinton gets away with it. He allegedly has a "fidelity calendar" on which he marks the days he has been faithful to his wife. This tells me that a lot of days don't get marked. As the leader of the free world, he serves as an example to everyone. Or at least the ones who choose to follow his example.

I can think of a particular man, although he is not a leader of a country. In fact, he is nothing. However, this lack of status does not exempt him from possessing some sense of morality. But he seems to think he's ok just the way he is. In fact, he's beyond reproach. His goal in life is to bed every woman he meets, regardless if he is attracted to her or not. He's only interested in one part of her, and they mostly all look the same anyway - especially in the dark.

This man has an ever-faithful partner. She gets upset at his wanderings, but she sticks steadfastly by him. Unlike Hillary Clinton, who stays with her husband for the sole purpose of political advance, this woman gains nothing in adhering to Mr Wrong. In fact, she loses something: the respect of others. And her self-esteem can't be all that great either. While her "man" is out having "Bill Clinton sex" (don't ask, don't tell!) with one of his many conquests, she sits at home and waits for his return. He probably doesn't have the common courtesy to wash his face and hands before he goes home.

What makes this man so loathesome is his absolute lack of remorse. He is only out to satisfy his own "needs," without regard for those whom he uses and discards in this quest. Ask him why, and he'll deny everything, "mind your own business!" Clinton couldn't very well say that, since that would make him look bad (worse?). But if a whole country (the world, even) can stick their collective nose into his affairs, why isn't ok to do this to the man on the street?

Well, it's not right either way. But neither is their behavior. But since two wrongs don't make a right, I'll not reveal any identities to you.

Ok, I can't keep a secret anymore. So who is this man of whom I speak? You all know him.....he counts many of you as "friends." He even expects to keep his "discard pile" in that category, just in case he needs a quickie and there is no fresh meat around. He is the nicest, sweetest, most charismatic guy, simple honest folk...beloved by many. He is everywhere. He might even be you.

Stay Tuned For the Next Exciting Bitchfest!

Random Rant
Do you think having to read birthday cards at company birthday parties is juvenile too?

Random Rant
Speaking of cards, an electronic greeting card deserves at least an acknowledgement of receipt from the recipient, don't you agree?

Random Rant
Children are fabulous mimics; they learn fast. If you want your child to grow up to be an exemplary person, be an example.

Randon Rant
Never trust a skinny cook!

Randon Rant
As with most things, friendship is a privilege, not a right. Don't abuse relationships by bogging down the other person with your problems, figuring "he/she is my friend - he/she can take it." Some day, you might be suprised to find just how wrong you are.