Have a burning question for the Minx to answer? Please E-mail them to her. Due to the amount of mail the Minx receives, a personal reply will not be possible, but all questions will be considered for publication.

Dear Minx, I met this guy online in a chatroom. We've been dating for two weeks, and now are talking marriage. He is so different from my ex! Do you think an online wedding would be appropriate? ~FullaHoles Dear Holes, Goldfish and chickens might be quite different from your ex as well - might you be wanting to enter a lifelong commitment with one of those? Fish tend to have rather short lifespans, and that might be more up your alley than that of an actual human - certainly fitting the length of your courtship too. I give you three months. Come back to me then and maybe we can start planning a wedding....but I doubt it!! Dear Minx, I just discovered that my co-workers call me "Goat Boy" behind my back and I don't know why they do this, but I am strangely tittilated by the notion. I've never been into bestiality, but then again, I've never met a goat up close. Should I give it a try? What do I do about the smell? ~GoatBoy Dear Goatboy, Wear deodorant. Dear Minx, I just got a new puppy and I love him to death. But he's starting to interfere with my sex life. He insists upon sleeping in the bed with my studmuffin and I...and tries to insinuate himself in the middle of any kissing, etc. that may go on. The idea of bestiality, while exotic, is NOT to my taste. So what should I do? ~PuppyLover Dear Lover, Your taste? Um...chicken? Ahh..nevermind :) There are many places besides a bed in which to practice your sex life, so if your puppy can so easily interfere, I might guess that your nighttime festivities were already a bore. Try having sex with your Dudmuffin in another room - in the shower perhaps.

Dear Minx, I love animals. I mean, I really love them. Ok, now before you start judging me and calling me a sicko, I just want to make one comment: clipping the nails of your gerbils really makes a difference! ~FlamingAsshole Dear Flaming, I am sure Heloise has great need for that suggestion; did you remember to send it to her as well? Dear Minx, I just made a dumb mistake with my girlfriend. I said something that caused her to think that she was less than my number one priority. I worship this woman and want to sire an empire with her! How can I make it up to her? ~OhioJerk Dear Jerk, In order to "sire an empire" you need to USE your weenie, not THINK with it. But before you even consider breeding (which might not be a good idea if even you call yourself a "jerk") why don't you start considering her feelings before you open your mouth? Instead of telling her she means everything to you (words are hollow), try showing her instead. Dear Minx, I seem to be getting mixed signals from one of my co-workers. Most times she seems to hate me, but after confronting her about it, she told me there were no issues between us. Now she has responded to my most recent emails. Do you think we've had a breakthrough and she could really like me?? ~Confused in Cubeville Dear Confused, Perhaps she is really enamored of you and prefers to keep her feelings deeply hidden, even from herself? She may have a hard time admitting to herself how she really feels about you. Her former hostile behavior might just be her denial manifesting itself. Maybe now she is coming to grips with reality and is better able to face facts. Just mind your own business, and don't get in her face about it.

Dear Minx, I was out with the guys one night and they started talking about shaving their girlfriends' cats. They said it was a totally sensuous experience and the chicks really dig it too. I tried it, but all I got were a lot of scratches and my girlfriend won't talk to me! I can't help it the clippers broke mid-way and her Persian has a couple of nasty bald spots. What should I do? ~Catsnip Dear Catsnip, I think you fell victim to a case of mistaken identity. You might have thought your buddies were discussing their girlfriends' pets, but really they were talking about what they like to pet ON their girlfriends. I guess it's a good thing your gf did not have a mountain lion :) Dear Minx, Does everything taste like chicken? ~Curious1 Dear Curious, Cluck, cluck. Dear Minx, I have a friend who does nothing but whine and complain all day about every little thing: his car repairs are expensive; his rent payment is due; his girlfriend does this that and the other; he hates his job; etc., etc. When I offer advice, simple and obvious solutions, he shrugs it off and continues with the stream of complaint. Frankly, this wears on me and makes me sad. What can I do to help him? ~Aargh! Dear Aargh, Nice name. From what I can tell, you have few options. You can continue to offer advice that your friend won't take and risk eventually being the bad guy just because you care, or you can tell him to take his problems elsewhere because he makes you feel like committing a murder/suicide. This won't make you look good in his eyes either. I am afraid you probably will have to grin and bear it, and pray that something good comes his way soon!

Contents | A Dog's Life | Animal Rights A Bird's Eye View | Ask the Minx | Etc. Critic's Corner | My $1.59 Worth | Point Of View Past Issues | E-Mail Me All information © 1998 by the WebGoddess. No portion of this site may be copied without permission.