Minx, the Magazine - Issue Three, Volume Two

Random Rant:
This column is becoming more difficult to write, believe it or not. Maybe I need someone to piss me off again :)

A Den of One's Own
I happened to glance out my bathroom window one snowy afternoon in January and saw an amazing spectacle in our backyard: a fully grown red fox. This might not seem odd to you, but remember that I live in Northern Baltimore City, at least a mile from the county line. Although the city limits end not far above Northern Parkway, there is little or no rural area left until way past Towson.

What was this beautiful creature doing in our yard? It was probably offspring of the pair of foxes that stayed with us several years back. One Spring afternoon, the male was killed by a car at the busy intersection of St. Paul and 39th Streets. There are few sights sadder than that of a beautiful wild creature whose life has been stolen away by the horrors of the city. The skinny gray vixen disappeared soon after, perhaps a victim of the same fate.

It is the horrors of the disappearing countryside which bring the foxes into the city. Developers are greedily using up available land to build the cookie-cutter fiberglas-and-drywall monstrosities which pass for new homes these days. As trees are cut down and land torn up, wildlife in the area loses both its home and food supply.

Then there is that nasty sport of hunting. I say that hunting is ok only if the hunter plans to eat the meat of the hunted, and does so because he or she cannot afford to buy meat at the store. But those of the Maryland elite, the "horsey set" (does that refer to their looks, or their hobbies?), those who can afford to feed themselves and the city's hungry, they hunt for "sport". What sort of sport is it when adults dress in tight breeches and smartly tailored jackets, accessorized with tall boots, a funny round hat, and a riding crop, and chase foxes? Fox meat is not one of those rich-people's delicacies like caviar and truffles. Rather, their meat is not eaten at all. It is their beautiful pelts and luxurious tails which are the true prize. In all probability, the foxes are no longer killed these days, but why chase them at all? Don't these wealthy snobs have anything better to do?

So where does the fox go when it is being chased from its home? Anywhere to which it can run. Oftentimes, that turns out to be the city, which is ever-looming, ever close. Lucky for them, my neighborhood is full of large backyards. Once safely ensconced in one, our vulpine friends can make an attempt at creating a home. Until that fateful day when one decides to wander from his or her new haven and into traffic.....

Random Rant
Some people just need to get over themselves. Listen honeys, you just ain't as great as you think you are :))

Random Rant
I hate being lulled into complacency by a balmy winter, only to be smacked in the face by freezing rain and snow the very next year. Especially when it ruins weekend plans.

Smug as a Bug
I have noticed that there is a propensity for the uneducated to stridently denounce individuals who prefer the use of "50 cent words" over banal, commonplace ones. Apparently these detractors are incapable of comprehending the multifariousness of the English language, and regard these preferred speech patterns as pomposity. There is far more to our vast lexicon than the jejune vocabulary seen on a day-to-day basis. Our native tongue is ever evolving; there are new words being introduced all the time, stemming from other cultures and variations on words already in use. I happen to find the origin of words fascinating and frequently notice similarities between the three very different languages which I speak.

Perhaps it is rather ignoble of me to express my ruminations in such an elevated manner, one which may cause you reach for the dictionary. However, I refuse to "dumb down" my language for those of you who are too indolent to do research. It is also possible that some of you are merely ineducable, which is a pity. I confess that I enjoy very much the process of learning, and strive to do so every day. I constantly add fresh words to my vocabulary, and intend to exercise the newcomers every chance I get. When I do, however, I hear, "you think you're better than everyone else," and "just because you use big words doesn't mean you're smarter than I am." I just smile and note the envy and defensiveness in those words. If they are meant to demean and discomfit me, they do not. They only prove my point. Language is a very effective weapon; against the unarmed, it can mean ruination.

Those of you who have never surpassed the "see Dick run, see Jane run," reading and comprehension levels will just have to suffer until you realize that I'm not going to change for you. Time to follow the old chestnut, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em!"

For a translation of the above section, click here.

He Loves Me, I Love Her Not, She Loves Me...
Will someone explain to me what makes men tick? No, this isn't going to be a piece on male-bashing, so calm down. I can ask the same thing about women...what goes through our heads sometimes?

I am talking relationships. Oooh...a sticky topic if there ever was one. It seems that just about every relationship I see these days has some sort of strange twist to it. I can name a number of couples composed of a married woman and a single man. Some of the women still live with their spouses. What I want to know is: 1) Why stay with the spouse if he is no longer "the one;" 2) Spouses, your wife is having an affair.....hello! Are you so dull and complacent that you can't file for divorce? 3) Are the "boy toys" in because they know the situation is "safe" and they will never be expected to make a commitment?

Oh...I know I'll get lots of flak for that. Sorry to give you food for thought. Notice I am not questioning your morals here, merely your motives. I am not here to discuss your ethics, merely as an inquiring mind. :)

Then you have the people who get engaged after dating for a month, or a few weeks. How can one gauge the compatibility with another being after such brief exposure? Have they already felt the full impact of the other's emotional baggage and accepted it? Do they not realize that marriage is a lifelong commitment (at least stay commited until the end of the marriage)? Marriage is not something akin to a pair of underwear - when it gets old and worn out, you can't just throw it away and buy a fresh one. And a "fresh one" should never be an "impulse buy," either. Like selecting a ripe fruit, choosing a marriage partner should be a deliberate and careful thing. Some people spend more time purchasing a new car than when considering taking the forever plunge.

Then there is another couple, dating for several years. They have discussed marriage; she wants it very much. He doesn't seem to have the nerve. And why should he? He's got everything a man could want already: a woman who loves him, takes care of his every need, coddles him, feeds him, cleans up after him, placates him. Why on earth should he marry her??? Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? He can't have it any better than he does now. She certainly won't.

Call me old-fashioned; I will freely admit to it. I am not a prude, mind you. I am well-versed in lasciviousness ;) I just don't understand the actions of some people. Not that it is my place to understand, however, as an observer of human behavior, I must say that some of it just does not make much sense.

Think about it. Why are you doing what you are doing in your current relationship? Is it good? Are you hurting somebody in the process? Are you trying to patch old wounds within yourself by attempting to turn two wrongs into a right? Ok, you can stop thinking now...blindly go about your business as usual :)

Stay Tuned For the Next Exciting Bitchfest!

Random Rant
When asked "what is your reason for not working at present?" "unemployment" is not an adequate answer. LOL!

Random Rant
It's not that difficult - open your browser and type in the URL. You can probably type your name (I am guessing); this is only slightly more work. Only the lame or lazy truly need hyperlinks.

Random Rant
Ever hear that radio commercial, "Why cosmetology school? Ever seen the price of college tuition lately?" For the uninformed, college is not merely a place to learn a trade, a place from which to emerge, ready, into the job market. It is a place of learning - of growth; a place in which to slake the thirst for knowledge. And it should be a place in which to learn more than just your advanced ABC's - ever seen the price of college tuition lately? LOL

Randon Rant
I thought Enemy of the State to be a frightening movie - it was too close to reality for me. Although uncomfortable during the flick, I did think there was one scene in there worth the price of admission: the one which proved to me beyond the shadow of a doubt the stupidity of the human male. If you know which one I am talking about, e-mail me and let me know what you thought.