Minx, the Magazine - Issue Two, Volume Two

Have a burning question for the Minx to answer? Please E-mail them to her.
Due to the amount of mail the Minx receives, a personal reply will not be possible,
but all questions will be considered for publication.

Dear Minx,
I've been dating this woman for a few months. I must admit I was at first only attracted to her because of her body, then I thought I saw something else there - we clicked emotionally. Now, after this time has passed, I realize that she is just a terrible bitchy nag...and the excitement of our arguments I mistook for compatibility...but she still has a great body. What should I do?
~Hound Dawg
Dear Dawg,
Sounds like you are just too dumb to live. I think you deserve each other :)

Dear Minx,
My man's idea of a romantic evening is not farting while we watch a football game and drink a six-pack of Bud together. How can I tell him that this just doesn't make the grade - I want something different once in a while!
~NeedsSomethinNew
Dear Needs,
Have you ever told him what your idea of romance might be? Perhaps it's more than just flatulation restraint; maybe you would like to drink more expensive beer once in a while. Suggest that he purchase some Sam Adams instead of your regular, or maybe even get daring and try wine coolers...or get really fancy and try a bottle of wine. Maybe you'll want to dim the lights too, so that you can snuggle by the glow of the tv. Try watching WWF instead of football - he might take a look at all the tangled limbs and get some ideas (wink wink). If all else fails, try wearing something sexy, like that new Raven's jersey he bought you for Christmas....that just might get his attention!

Dear Minx,
Every year for Valentine's day, I hope to receive a dozen red roses and a box of Godiva chocolates, enjoy a bubble bath and a bottle of fine champagne, and every year I am disappointed - all I ever get is a card and "I love you." Where do I find a man who provides these things for me?
~NeedsLuvin
Dear Needs,
What do you need a man for to get that? Can't you dial the number for a florist or the Godiva 800 order hotline? Seriously, you might need to drop hints to your man that you would like to receive the things that you mentioned. Some guys just need a little push in the right direction because they are otherwise absolutely clueless. And guys who are reading - if you want something, ask for it. Don't assume your partner shares your exact romantic frame of mind.
P.S. What the hell is wrong with a card and "I love you?"

Dear Minx,
I lived with a man for a number of years, and he treated me very well. I decided that I wanted some excitement in my life, and so left him. In the last two months, I have been with five men, and am now cohabitating with am man whom I am crazy about, but who other people have warned me is a drunken loser. Did I do the right thing?
~PorkSandwich
Dear Pork,
Sounds like you did the right thing for the poor man you left...let's just hope he realizes that and finds a woman deserving of him. However, I believe the man you are with now did find something he deserves.

Dear Minx,
I have a man who gives me all the standard Valentine's fare - chocolate, roses, candle-lit bubble baths with champagne for sipping. It's all well and good, but I would prefer something far less extravagant - maybe a card and an "I love you." I don't ask for much. How can I let him know what I really want?
~NoRoses
Dear NoRoses,
Let me fix your man up with the woman from the other letter and we'll see if we can get you a less-magnanimous one.... Sheesh, don't you gals know that you are lucky to have anything? Some women would love to have someone hand her a conversation heart that says, "you're cute;" they would go apeshit to have someone pay enough attention to actually spend money on flowers. Stop complaining!

Dear Minx,
I have a sneaking suspicion that my new bride is having an affair - with another woman. She comes home late at night, smelling of perfume other than the one she usually wears, there are women's clothes which I do not recognize all over the place, and the sheets are always clean. How should I confront her with this?
~Cuckold in Co
Dear Cuckold,
Perhaps you were not aware of your wife's proclivities before your wedding? The symptoms you have described do sound familiar to me: you, unfortunately, have found a woman who likes to.......shop. And, even worse, likes to do laundry. I am afraid both conditions are incurable and you and your paranoia will just have to learn to live with them.